Now that that's out of the way, let's just get to the point.
Today I realized my life is not getting any easier.
Over the last couple of months there have been so many things I could write about, things that God has done that I will forever praise Him for and things that I'm still wondering why God has put or taken out of my life.
There is so much; I wanted to put some of the highlights, but I didn't even know where to begin. I just don't even want to talk about it. There is stuff going on this very moment that is making me sick and giving me anxiety and also things that bring joy to the deepest part of my heart.
But here's the thing, it's getting to the point that every morning I get up, I don't want to get out of bed. I couldn't says it because I'm depressed or anything - but every now-and-again I have that day where my heart can't stand the thought of just going through the day, or I'm crippled by fear and just want to stay asleep all day long, hoping that is good enough for God. But mostly, I just really don't want to get out of my cozy bed and start school or work (even though I basically have the best job in the world). Because let's just face it, sleep is one of my top five best friends. But, regardless how I wake up feeling, I remind myself that God has not only awoken me at this exact time, but also has awoken me for a purpose. That in this one day, God has a divine plan for me. If I succeed - woots for me; If I fail, I learn a lesson and build character - God molds me into who He wants me to be.
Everyday I wake up knowing that my soul purpose on this earth is to bring glory to God in any way I can. It might sound bland, but think about it. All this world has to offer is temporary; God is eternal. There is nothing that can compare to God's plan or purpose; no dream or earthly desire. And yet, I find myself demanding God for answers.
But this month-ish, I have just.....let go. I'm trusting Him. There was no grand moment when I laid it all down. Maybe it was just through all my prayer, I didn't notice the little changes in my heart. Then I got to this point I have been praying for everyday and I didn't even realize it. I just one day noticed that my mindset and attitude had changed. - Through it all, God knows. God will protect me, love me, hear me, and no tear will go unseen. I will never be alone. - I knew this before, but I didn't let it affect me. Now, I am.
- “O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways” (Psalm 139:1-3).
- “Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all.” Psalm 34:19
- 1 John 4:7-8 "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love."
- Psalms 66:19-20 (NASB) "But certainly God has heard; he has given heed to the voice of my prayer. Blessed be God, who has not turned away my prayer nor His loving kindness from me. "
Psalm 56:8 (NLT) "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle You have recorded each one in your book."
Isaiah 41:10 ESV
"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Through it all my eyes are on Him. My purpose. My Reason.
Songs that inspired this blog:
It is well - Bethel Music - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNqo4Un2uZI
This is living Now - Hillsong young + Free -https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFR-tV2whAU
(And yes, believe it or not) Purpose - Justin Bieber - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6uNCSVhPmE
