Picking the Name

So, here we are again. I'm going to attempt blogging, once again- but,  for courses - under entirely different circumstances.

Now, I had to put plenty of thought into what my first post was going to be about. There is about 1 million and ten things I could start out writing. But all of those topics require about 4,000 words or more, and being who I am and having the life I have- I really don't have time for that- and probably never will, so most of my post are most likely going to be short and sweet.

So, I had come down to this. When upon creating this blog, I (for some reason) was shocked to find that I had to come up with a title. Now, for you to understand how I picked my title, you have to have a little understanding of how my minds works. So, image millions and millions of sentences crashing into each other, speeding around and bouncing off walls in a very confined space. And this is happening 24/7. Now, I don't know if this is how your mind works- but to me it is unbearable. I feel like my head might explode at any time.  Of courses, I have had this mind forever, so I have come up with coping techniques to bring my mind to a stable point.

My favorite, if you haven't noticed, it talking. ;) Those of you who have meet me, know that I will talk your ear off for as long as I can. Talking is like releasing thousands of these sentences speeding out of my mind. I can think clearly, or at least make sense of my mind when my mouth is open. But, of course, this method has a fatal flaw; two actually. When I speak, I tend not to use my filter. All the words just jumble out; the more important things I have to say get lost in the immature thoughts that pop into the head of a sixteen year old girl. Secondly, my words go into oblivion. I can't look at them or oversee them. The thoughts are out of my head, yes, but they are now lost, never to be found again, unless if the words leave their mark.

My second coping technique is much more...satisfying. Writing is my serenity. When I am writing, my mind goes into army combat mood, all the sentences flying around suddenly become stiff and line up, the more important thoughts come to the forefront of my mind and the less important fall away. And when I am done, I can take a step back, strip my emotions away and analyze what my mind has poured out on to a blank space. I can make sense of my own thoughts.

I wanted to portray all of this in just a title. After brainstorming, I came down to two titles; "Clear"- which was an accurate description of what my blog would do to my mind. It was exactly what I wanted. Or "Above the Waves"- of course, was deep and a pun on my life.
The more I thought about it the more I was swayed towards "Clear", but my grandma was over, so I asked her opinion on my brainstormed list. The first thing she said was "I really like "Above the Waves". As our conversation continued my Grandma had stopped me mid-sentence and told me we need to pray. So, we did. And after that I was certain "Above the Waves" was the title.

God brought the mind the story of Jesus walking on water, as well as Peter.  I see myself as Peter, I was walking on the water, my life was taking course that I loved. I was in a good place with my parents, and my siblings. I had best friends that I adored ( I still do). I was also in a great place with God. But then I sunk. The sad thing is, I didn't lose faith. Life just came up and hit me with Tsunami. Within one day, my entire life had been flipped upside down, and I had also lost the only Man I will ever love. I lost someone who can never be replaced, I lost someone absence will always be felt. I lost my dad.  And now I am sinking. But my hand is always outstretched to Jesus. He grabbed it the moment I reached out and hasn't let go since. But, I am still in the raging sea. The waves still knock me over and under the water. It might not make sense to me now, but God hasn't pulled me out of the sea yet. But, I don't think I will ever be pulled out. This is my test. I always have to hold on to God, if not; I will drown. But that the beauty of it, I might have to spend my whole life struggling to keep my head above the waves. But God Literally is holding my hand. I have been bless with the gift of being comforted by the Creator of the universe. He is my Father. And even though it seems impossibly hard; life just above the waves is beautiful.

Hannah