"New Normal."

I'm warning you, today's blog is not going to be as deep as it normally is. This is because I had a somewhat "normal" week. As I sat for over 15 minutes trying to figure what the heck I was going to blog about, it came to my attention that every blog I have written has been about an event, vacation or something big.  I haven't had a break.

Now, normal comes with drama, there is always drama in my life. I don't always going looking for it, well actually - I never going looking for it. It always finds me.  I'm not saying I don't start drama, because I know I do, I'm a dramatic person, but if I do cause it I never mean to. So, of course I had things to deal with, and I'm pretty sure at some point this week I was laying on the ground crying about most likely school.

But this was the most normal week I have had, that I can remember, since I lost my Dad. How I feel about that I don't know.  I think I am happy, that my life is taking some kind of normality again. The last couple months have been a whirlwind. There was always something going on, we had almost every room in our house redone. Just letting you know renovating your house is like living in hell for weeks, just a heads up. Then between the three trips I have taken (Oregon, NYC then Florida), I also happened to be in the middle of the school year.  So when I wasn't in a beautiful amazing place, fulfilling one of my hearts desire to see the world, I was either unpacking, packing or desperately trying to make a dent on my piling-up late homework. While also trying to juggle my social life, and working part time as a nanny. You can imagine how messy my room was. Oh, and just to put a cherry on top, I was also grieving. I was going crazy.

Now, for this huge disclaimer - I am so, so crazy, amazingly, dumbfoundedly grateful for everything that I listed above (well, besides that late homework and messy room;).

I feel like my life has been a rollercoaster, going 200 mph, dropping and rising, turning and doing loop-de-loops and it never stops. I think lately, its slowing down. That's the thing, I think everyone's life is a rollercoaster ride. But the typical speed was 75 mph. That was my normal before my I lost my Dad. I don't think my life will ever go down to that speed again. In counseling, we always talk about "the new normal" - that we will all someday find it. I really don't know what that means yet, but I can imagine my "new normal" being like this week.  Now, if you had asked me about a week just like this one about nine months ago, I would have told you it was terrible.

There is another thing that leads me to believe that this "speed" or "new normal" is good. I am finding that I am making more time for God. This week, I told myself that I needed to pull my life back together. I need to get my butt in gear.  I'm not pulling myself together- pulling my life together in hopes that the mess that I am follows suit. If I stay a mess for the rest of my life- so what? Everyone's a mess; some more than others. The point is that we all try. We don't just sit in our beds and give up. We get up and face the glorious day that God has made.

Tomorrow, I encourage you to get up and breathe. Breathe. You are breathing. You are alive. You can make a difference with your life- with just this day. This life, every single breath of pure air that you take is a gift. We get to worship our God with every breath. This is a gift. And this, THIS is what I want my "new normal" to be.